Marriage is an investment, a lifetime commitment, and a legally binding contract. Unlike other investments, marriage comes with a precursory engagement phase, otherwise known as wedding planning. Couples should view the engagement period as a time both plan their big day and learn to cooperate and communicate during stressful situations. The very act of planning a wedding requires both a financial and emotional investment and is sure to bring with it times of high demand. Couples should heed the advice of those who have walked the aisle before them to ensure that the planning phases of their own wedding ceremony unfold with as little stress as possible.

For some couples, the engagement is actually a time to bask in the glow of a wonderful future together. For others, it is a time to wear themselves out trying to plan the perfect wedding ceremony. Whether you take the hands-on approach or simply sit back and let the day unfold, consider the top ten most important things to consider when planning your big day.

Consider hiring a wedding planner (also referred to as a coordinator, consultant, or assistant). There are some couples who know from stage one that they will be responsible for every single detail about the wedding, right down to the hand-tied bows around the individually wrapped wedding favors. Other couples have a few ideas they want to implement but are ultimately happy to let someone else handle the major stuff, such as hiring vendors and decorating the reception venue. Of course, there are those select few that want absolutely nothing to do with the planning. Whatever route you and your soon-to-be choose, make sure you sit down and agree on level of involvement before you take one single step toward the altar.

Another crucial consideration is the contracts. Here, contracts do not refer to prenuptial agreements but rather arrangements between the happy couple and everyone else. Even if someone else is planning everything, it is the ultimately the couple’s responsibility to sign on the dotted line. To you and yours, your wedding is all about celebrating your love and commitment; to the vendors who supply the food, equipment and entertainment (i.e., caterers, rental agencies and DJs), it is all about the money. Nothing has the potential to ruin your perfect day like a DJ who raises his hourly rate halfway through the reception or a chair rental company that threatens to back out if you do not pony up some more money. Contracts are everything and without them, couples have no recourse. From the moment you (or your representative) start receiving quotes, be sure to get everything in writing so that when the time comes for these vendors to produce, they are contractually bound.

Just as important as planning and contracts is the budget. Be sure to work with vendors and suppliers so that you can be certain you receive everything you want at a price you can afford. Most of the time couples are uncomfortable asking for discounts on products or services. Remember that discounts do not necessarily mean you must cut corners to save money. Maybe the caterer offers a discount if you choose a buffet line over white-glove service. Officiants generally charge less for mid-week nuptials than those exchanged at the ever-popular Saturday afternoon ceremony. State your budget clearly and do not be afraid to demand a discount whenever possible. After all, a little money saved on the wedding could mean a romantic upgrade during the honeymoon.

Onto the issue of how to tackle the bar tab and what is reasonable to expect of the couple and their guests. Should you offer open bar or cash bar? Do you want to foot the bill for all your guests? Family members only? Just the wedding party? Do you want to pay for spirits or only beer? Wine? Soda? Juice? What about the champagne toast? It is important to remember that when budgeting for your wedding, alcohol often plays a huge part increasing the cost of your reception. A cash bar often means your guests will pay for everything they drink. Likewise, an open tab is one in which the happy couple pays for every drink consumed by everyone. Consider offering a happy medium: perhaps the couple pays for beer and non-alcoholic beverages while guests are free to pay for their own wine and cocktails. Whatever you choose, get it in writing because nothing tarnishes the morning-after glow quite like an unexpected bar tab.

No matter how prepared you feel, the unavoidable will certainly happen on your wedding day. One way to avoid the shock of an unexpected bump in the matrimonial road is to realize that life is sometimes unpredictable and usually uncontrollable. No matter how much you plan, things will inevitably happen out of sequence. Maybe the florist did not heed the weather advisory of a mid-June frost and now your wilted red roses are being replaced with blue carnations. Perhaps the caterer thought you ordered twenty bottles of Merlot when really you wanted ten bottles of Shiraz. Unless the officiant misread the date of your wedding and forgot to show up altogether, chances are your guests will not even realize anything gone astray. No matter what happens it is important to remind yourself that little imperfections are the moments you will one day look back on as the fondest of memories. After all, it is about the between you and your soon-to-be and not about the color of the flowers or the flavor of the wine. Accept the mishaps, put on a smile, enjoy your big day and move on.

Of course, some of life’s inevitable mishaps are completely preventable. For example, if you have decided to recite your own vows, then do not depend on your memory alone to deliver the sentiments of your affection in front of all your friends and loved ones. Instead, print copies of your vows and hand them out to the officiant, the maid of honor, the best man, and be sure to tuck a copy into your dress or pocket. Sometimes the little mishaps are preventable with just a bit of forethought. Besides, no matter how many times you’ve read or re-read your vows, there is no way to predict how the moment will strike you once it comes time to say “I do” and it is better to be safe than sorry and speechless.

Next, consider the rings. Are you having a ring bearer? All too often, couples leave the responsibility of their wedding bands in the hands of a child. Whether you have chosen the 5-karat stone from Tiffany’s or the pawnshop special, remember that these are the symbols of your love and commitment (so treat them like priceless gems). Consider the age of your ring bearer. If he is too young to be trusted, give the real deal to the best man and let Little Johnny carry very pretty (and very inexpensive) substitutes. Nothing ruins a wedding quite like a missing wedding band.

As with most ventures, at some point someone raises the issue of money. If you are responsible for paying for everything, feel free to ignore this bit of advice. However, if you are fortunate enough to have someone (a parent, relative, friend or future in-law) helping with the financial aspect of the wedding, remember to show gratitude. At some point, you will need to make concessions, especially with those helping to fund the event. You do not have to hand over the reins just because someone else is picking up the tab for your wedding, but you should be gracious and expect to make a few compromises. If your future in-laws are paying for the rehearsal dinner and they just have to have lobster but you hate seafood in general, consider offering shrimp cocktail as an appetizer and chicken or steak as the main course. What works best: pick five things you just have to have on your wedding day and then be prepared to bargain for and compromise on everything else. Money is the number one cause of divorce today but being stubborn is likely close behind. Do not be so inflexible that your stubbornness gets in the way of making your wedding a day that everyone will enjoy together.

Just as worthy of mention is the issue of setting up and breaking down the venue. Unless you are hosting your big event at your own home, chances are you will be responsible for removing all evidence of your blissful union before morning. What this means for you and your soon-to-be: if you and your wedding party do not want to be the ones responsible for tearing down streamers and folding and transporting chairs, you will have to break down and hire a crew.  Whatever your feelings on the issue remember that it will likely be difficult to clean all traces of your wedding in the middle of night after all of the champagne toasts you have enjoyed.

Finally, the soundest advice you will ever receive: be selfish sometimes. After all the time you have put into picking attire, making seating arrangements and trying to make everything perfect, you deserve a little alone time to decompress. Unexpected things will inevitably happen, you will be bogged down by stress, tempers will flare and everyone will want a piece of you. At some point, you will feel utterly suffocated. Find a little space that you claim for yourself. Perhaps it is the bench in front of the rose garden or the farthest corner of the church basement. Whatever place you decide to claim, tell everyone about it and let them know that this is your “alone” space and make sure they all know that when you rush off to your space you just need a few minutes to collect your thoughts. This way, when you get overwhelmed and feel unappreciated, you can take a few minutes to enjoy your privacy, collect your thoughts and reconnect with all of the wonderful reasons you are there at that very moment. Besides, if you succumb to the stress and do not give yourself adequate time to recover, chances are you will not have a chance to enjoy your own wedding anyway.

The first few steps to planning a wedding are to establish a budget, find a location and set the date. Start interviewing vendors for photography, catering and music with advice from a professional event coordinator in this free video on wedding planning. Expert: Courtney Arnold Contact: www.stellareventsnc.com Bio: Courtney Arnold is the owner of Stellar Events and is a professional planner with eight years in the industry. Filmmaker: Rendered Communications
Video Rating: 4 / 5

Find More Wedding Planning Articles